Thursday, September 9, 2010

I'm still thinking a lot about faith. And it's causing me to again study the aspects of selfishness that lead me to where I am. I cannot deny them. I am being selfish to be me. To be happy. Sure, my life would be total crap and I'd be miserable, but without my transition, I'd still be in the good (financial) graces of my parents and many of my old friends, not to mention the Christian Church.

Then I reexamine that logic. My parents and I have always disagreed on many things. And I don't think I'd have much more of a relationship with them anyway. And most of my old friends from high school and college moved on and drifted away. The friends I have now are the best I've ever had. I've never felt more valued for who I am. I've never felt more at ease. I've never had as many intense, intelligent discussions.

Back to me being rather miserable and lonely if I was trying to hide who I am. I wouldn't have an awesome boyfriend. I wouldn't have this awesome roommate. I wouldn't socialize with all these awesome people.

And so, does the loss affect me? Yes. But the gain brings me more joy than I can fathom.

(more on the actual faith aspect later)

and here's a photo of the scars my binder has caused.


  1. Its weird how things hit everyone in this group at the same times...also my binder is leaving scars...and bruises all over my bueno...miss you man. I slept all day/:(

  2. Miss you. Glad you were able to catch up on sleep though.

  3. Hey fellas, doing some incidental stalking after finding lee on genderfork - since i'm not hip to the facebook anymore i thought i'd use this opp to say hi, so hello! are you using one of those cropped off binders or the full length shirt kind? i notice ace bandages are insufficent amongst other things - doing some shopping. here's kissies for your bruises and scars :x :x :x take care!!! - lucia

  4. Hello Lucia!

    The binder I use most regularly is the Tri-Top from underworks: Ace bandages are a decent start, but never use them for extended periods.