Monday, April 12, 2010

Some fun times. Reunited with some friends I don't see very often. Hung out with an out-of-towner transguy. Luxuriated in the sun in the park. Drank sort of too much. Watched some fire spinning.

As for trans issues, my hunger is certainly insistent. I'm not used to being hungry. Usually I just eat pretty consistently and it's always been sort of a goal to eat when I'm hungry, but I usually never reach that point. But the T is certainly speeding up my metabolism so I actually get hungry. And when I say insistent, that's exactly what it is. I must eat. I feel as though I can do nothing else. It cannot be ignored.

Also, I seem to be getting the acne piece, bummer. Hopefully I can keep that managed.

Still waiting to hear back from my dad since I told him I was starting hormones and wanted to change my name. Hopefully he and my mom will understand that this is my life, my choices. Hopefully they will see that instead of shutting them out as I have for several years (or most of my life), I'm trying to include them in some way. Not in my decision-making, but just by informing them, dialoguing and asking if they want to be a part of the name change.

I know it's hard for them. Their perception of me has changed. They grieve the loss of the daughter they thought they had. I know they still love me as their child. I'm content in that. Perhaps someday they'll accept me for who I really am as opposed to how they want me to be.

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