Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Certainly feeling a bit oilier. Yuck. Got it mostly under control though. I really wish I could pick which aspects of T I could assimilate. I sort of don't want to be obnoxiously hairy like the rest of the guys in my family. I want the voice change. I want some facial hair. I want the body shape and musculature. But yeah, the hair, the smell, eh...

I know I cannot pick and choose. It's just one of those things.

I've been feeling sort of down lately. I think I just feel a bit isolated because I don't really know anyone else going through this. I mean, not closely. I've also been really hating my body. I don't get 'traditional' dysphoria. That is, I don't always feel as though something is wrong with my body being female. I've simply been hating the curves I have. I really need to be working out, running every day. But sometimes, the hatred is so overpowering that I don't want to run. I don't want to do anything but eat and sleep. I need to have better eating habits. I need to have better exercise habits. Guh.

I got a swim binder from underworks. I like the way it binds, but it certainly shows my love handles or whatever...

1 comment:

  1. I totally get the picking and choosing. But, it is what it is =)

    The binder looks great on you. I couldnt pull it off in any way shape or form.