Tuesday, April 6, 2010

All right, so the first 24 hours on T was uneventful. I cannot say I felt any different at all. Which I'm sure is normal. I went for a run, got sleeted on. Went to work. Tried to stay busy. Went to my FtM support group. Then came home for dose two. I'm using AndroGel as opposed to injectable testosterone. I feel that it's more consistent. One must wait several weeks between shots, but with the gel is applied daily. Therefore, no hormonal mood swings. Well, less so anyway.

A lot of things have been going through my head in the past week. I've questioned my choices. I mean, it's a huge decision. It's a huge, irreversible change. And for someone who will never actually identify as 'male', it's sort of a big deal. I mean, I'm making male my default, because, alas, in this society, gender is binary. But I will never be fully 'stealth'. That is, I will never deny my trans status. I will more readily identify as a transman than a man. I know that 'man' just doesn't quite fit. However, I'm damn sure that 'woman' doesn't, and never has, and never will.

I know from my exhaustive research what changes will occur. I'll sweat more, and also get a new aroma. My metabolism will increase, causing me to be hungrier. I will get hairier (alas the facial aspect will likely be last). My muscles will begin to get denser and it will be easier for me to build them. Fat ratios will shift around to more masculine shape. My voice will get deepen (after cracking embarrassingly, of course.) I will very likely get acne. Ultimately, menstruation will cease. Oh, and the clitoris increases in size as does libido. So I guess it's unfortunate that I'm single. Haha. Basically, I will turn into a 14 year old boy. It's puberty. At 24. Whee!

1 comment:

  1. We are so alike as far as gender. LOL.