Monday, January 31, 2011

I want to know that I'm okay. I want to hear it from my parents.

I know that's sort of lame. They don't support my decisions. I've chosen my preferred family. Why do they matter so much? But they do...

Another thing that's been on my mind is sort of what causes a person to transition. I mean, I know that it's a validity of identity thing, but people really have differing reasons. I feel that some guys (and girls, for sure) transition in order to better fit the norm. That is, they want to be seen more as straight and not deviant or whatever. Perhaps they would never use those words, I'm being a bit indelicate, just stripping things down as I see them. I feel as though I'm more or less the opposite. Perhaps it is sort of a rebellion thing. I am trying to be as queer as possible. And I suppose I have an easier time of it because I don't have a set sort of person I'm attracted to. So when I was presenting and identifying as female, dating a female was the most queer I could get. And now, as I'm transitioning, I'm dating a transguy. I suppose a person cannot get much more queer.

I know it's a bit jumbled and not at all nicely worded, but it's been rambling around in my head and I needed to get it out there. Out to the lovely void for all to see.


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