Last month my boyfriend got chest reconstructive surgery from a local surgeon. He's healed up very well and the surgeon is amazing. I'm exceedingly jealous. I used to be unsure whether or not I wanted top surgery. I have always known I despise my chest, but I've been hesitant to want to go under anesthesia and under the knife. And to pay such money for it. And to be out of work and out of action for so long. And then there's the fact that with my pectus excavatum I will never truly have a flat chest.

But now, now that I see the results. Having direct contact with someone who has undergone the procedure and been a part of the recovery, and seen the result, I cannot keep it out of my mind. I want this. More than most things in my life.

I've been keeping a decent savings routine, but I have tended to prioritize other things higher than saving for something so far off. Backpacking supplied. DVDs. Paying more than the minimum for my car loan. Etc. But I want this surgery. And I do hope that someday it will be covered by all insurance plans, but in the meantime, I am going to try to stop spending frivolously. I am going to save as much as possible and if all goes well, I should be able to do it in a year or so. I have about half the money, but I need to make more than half again that much, because I don't want to spend all of my savings in one go. I need a cushion. So at the rate I am saving now, barring any expensive catastrophes, I will have more than enough by next fall. I have decided fall is probably the best time. Probably Novermber. As much as I'd like to have this done before my 30th birthday, a month after shouldn't be so bad. If I have it in November it won't cut into my 14er hiking. It will hurt some snowshoeing time, but by January I'll be healed enough to enjoy that too.

This will happen. I'm putting it out here to keep me accountable.